i can't find the words

i sold my soul the other day for seven dollars an hour. well, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad, but i did sell out:

barber: well, i haven’t seen you in awhile.
me: yup, been away at college.
barber: i can tell. what do you want done to it today?
me: just neaten it up a little.
barber (confused): alright.

a little later, i emerged from the barbershop with my first haircut in eight months. it was a mullet. yes, a mullet – he cut off all of the wonderful hair that i combed into my eyes every morning but left everything in the back. a mullet. pictures will not be forthcoming.

that night, i even got to sport my mullet while playing a slow-paced game of ultimate frisbee. slow-paced because almost everyone (including yours truly) sucked. for some reason, i volunteered to be melanie’s chauffeur, so, as i was speeding down spencer road to ensure that she got home before her high school curfew, i showed her a very cool trick:

*sees oncoming car*
“hey, watch this.”
*flashes high-beams*
*other car turns on high beams*
“hahahaha”

melanie prob’ly rolled her eyes or something; i dunno, i was laughing uncontrollably at the other car’s expense.

and now i’m going to talk about job hunting. i will be working for my dad starting tuesday, doing basic office work (answering phones, making spreadsheets, filing, going downstairs and getting him iced teas, refiling, reading over legal documents to check for mistakes/loopholes), but i’m also looking for a second, part-time job. you know, to tack on another twenty-or-so hours a week.

last week, i sent a bunch of resumes out to newspapers and camera stores, more or less to no avail. so far, i’ve only heard from the riverfront times; the editor-in-chief emailed me to explain that he generally hires people with a little more experience, so i should show up on his doorstep in a year or two, portfolio tucked under arm. also, one of the camera stores, schiller’s, put out a want ad the day after i mailed them my resume, but i don’t think i quite have the retail experience they’re looking for.

so i also dropped off applications at holiday inn (where i think i need to be eighteen to work there) and borders (which isn’t very good about keeping resumes on file, or so jennifer tells me). and i applied for a job with ups, throwing boxes around at all hours of the morning. no word from those three, either.

and less than ten hours ago i was browsing the want ads and discovered two interesting things. the first was that a [wal*mart] store [twenty-five miles down the road] is looking for someone to work their [crap-ass] one-hour photo processing lab. the second was that the st. louis post-dispatch, the new jersey star-ledger of the midwest, wants people to put those annoying ad slicks in the paper.

i think that the post-dispatch job is attractive in a certain light. sure, i would be working around scary machines capable of eating me butt-early every morning, but i would be getting my foot in the door. compare it to gail wynand in ayn rand’s the fountainhead, starting on the lowest rung of the newspaper and scratching his way to the top of the ladder, nearly owning the city.

yeah, i like that.

and on a final [side]note, i am thoroughly perplexed. you?

maybe now that i have got my fancy paper journal up to date, i can write here more regularly. maybe.

look at what is decorating my door:

i wouldn’t have noticed, except that their mother about near flew into my face as i was opening the door earlier.

so yeah, my sleeping is a little screwy as of late. like, “hey, look, the sun is coming up! time for bed!” hopefully i can work a late shift at wherever i get hired.

and the other thing is that i keep having these messed-up dreams. i’ve had these “flashforwards” (not quite premonitions) to three years down the road, when i am graduating. it’s really weird. and then there is the crazy recurring road trip dream i’ve had at least six times in the last week and a half.

well, i had best get going if i am to clean my room by the time my parents wake up.

so, today, i sat down and actually did some constructive work. no, i still have not done ANY work for my sociology class, but that will just have to wait. what i did do was print out resumes and cover letters and put them in the mail to four newspapers and five camera stores. plus i snagged applications for borders and holiday inn (don’t ask).

i’m putting my money on holiday inn. well, i would if my wallet wasn’t empty. remind me that no one needs three hundred one-cent stamps. fifty will suffice.

anyhow, the borders application asks me to list two references who have known me for five years and are not relatives. after hours of thinking, i realized that there are no adults in my life who have known me for that long and don’t share a decent chunk of dna with me.

oh well, i’ll think of something.

i always do, don’t i?

(god i hope so.)

look at me, wasting less time on the internet now that i am away from college.

instead, i am sleeping until 1:00 every day.

well, i did get to sleep at a decent hour last night. i think it was the sunburn that made me doze for a copius amount of time this morning. (on a side note, i tend to define days of the week by my sleeping patterns; thus, today is still monday even though it is technically 3:00 tuesday morning)

yesterday was spent almost entirely at the umb bank pavilion (nee riverport amphitheatre) thanks to pointfest 14. some of the bands i can remember seeing are: local h, tenacious d, dashboard confessional, reel big fish, hoobastank, mesh stl, greenwheel, goldfinger, and our lady peace. note that i did not include x-ecutioners in that list because they are about the suckiest “band” to ever play the venue. i’d have to say that goldfinger was the highlight of the day, what with moshing and crowdsurfers and such.

of course, i got a nasty sunburn. on my forehead only. because i thought that my newly-grown hair would protect it and chose not to apply sunscreen to that particular area. oops.

anyway, enough pointfest.

i got my spring semester grades a few hours ago and was quite pleased. 3.80. this number is sure to jump to 3.84 when i take my last sociology test (considering that i have a b in the class with a zero on one of the tests, it will be pretty hard to get below an a in the class).

and speaking of sociology, i have “class” tomorrow. sort of.

all my best, hon.

as luck would have it, the jack johnson show in columbia was sold out. jack johnson. sold out. missouri. so i ended up rescheduling my finals and such to see him zero times. but i am not complaining; i did get to play disc and go to an orange julius and watch dogma. oh, and spend an extra fifteen dollars on gasoline, too.

i think that school has hindered my ability to actually use a telephone. coupled with my morbid fear of talking on the phone, this could prove disasterous. blame it on instant messenger, i suppose. at school, i would call someone when i wanted to hang out. then i would get their screenname, but still use the phone because instant messaging sucks. however, i always determined about a week later that the phone just took too much effort. so now i am at home not wanting to call people, just waiting for them to sign online. i wonder how long it will take me to realize that a lot of people here do not use the internet daily.

you know, i’m still running on eastern time. my clock says 4:31 but it is only 3:31. i think that this might be good. or goo, which is what i typed the first time i wrote that sentence.