i can't find the words

i was sick last night and also not sleepy, so i made the decision not to go to bed, even though i had to be at work at eight o’dark in the morning. in lieu of sleeping, i played gran turismo 2 for hours and hours. you should’ve seen me drive to work this morning, in my “oh crap, now i’m tired” state after having “driven” a mitsubishi 3000gt vr-4 through a seemingly endless number of chicanes, u-turns, and narrow openings between other cars. oh man. i am pretty sure i passed a car on the RIGHT on a one-lane road, and i was most definitely speeding copiously the entire time.

and i have to drive home in a little over an hour. godspeed to me, eh?

you would think that, after not having written for quite some time, i would have a plethora of witty, charming anecdotes for you to mull over and wonder if i actually hide some sort of obtuse morals in them for you to discover or if i’m just babbling.

i’m just babbling. if there happens to be a moral in anything i write, you imagined it. either that or a wizard did it.

anyhow…

i also had to make a bank run earlier today. the funny part was not that the stupid bank teller did not ask to see any form of identification when i cashed a check that was my dad’s. the funny part was when, on the way back to work, some very old person on a rascal or maybe an off-brand motorized senior citizenized go-kart decided to just lollygag his way across fifth street. both the car in the oncoming lane and i had to slam on our brakes to not hit him. he did not even notice the cars on either side of him screeching to a halt from forty miles per hour.

in non-car-related news, jimmy eat world is playing the allentown fair a week after i get back to school. kristen and i are going and i am excited. i mean, c’mon, jimmy eat world. at a fair! oh wait, samantha ann just informed me that the allentown fair smells like livestock. now i am slightly less excited. damn pigs.

*five minute pause as the journalist dozes in his big leather rolly chair*

yeah, go me.

i would like to congratulate kristen blake on winning the “cool person of the week” award. surprising me with a letter is one thing. priority mailing that letter in a box is another. but securely placing that letter in several pieces of bubble wrap has got to be coolness to the ultimate. congrats kristen, you = cool.

quite some time ago, i warned you not to argue with my roommate, lawrence. this was because he does not listen. you should also never try to argue with my father. he listens, and then dismisses whatever you say because you are quite obviously stupid and he is supreme genius of the universe.

point in case:

since my car is not entirely drivable, what with busted window and all, i was entrusted with his [old] lexus for the first half of this week, while he was out of town. of course, disaster struck, and when i woke up wednesday, there was quite a gash in its bumper. my father got back in town the next day, and immediately pointed his finger at me when he noticed the damage. i said “umm.. no.” (yes, just like that)

but anyway, he is making me pay for replacing the [$1200] bumper. his logic is, “well, since the car was your responsibilty while i was gone, you’ll just have to own up and take care of this problem.” that’s right, i get to pay even though i did not do it.

“but wait!” you say, “INSURANCE will save you!” no. it will not. he refuses to call good old liberty mutual or whatever the hell insurance we have, because “if you make too many claims, they cancel your insurance.”

plus i cannot use his car anymore.

my arguments:

a) i did not do it.
b) he has never made a claim with his car.
c) instead of buying two suits this month, he can fix the damn bumper.
d) if his reasoning was valid, forest park would owe me a new window and 130 cds.
e) i did not do it.

so that whole ordeal (which he decided to yell at me about right as i was leaving work to go home, grab money, and then go eat) put me in a bad mood.

as it was, i sped home, vacuumed all of the tiny pieces of glass out of my car, and then picked up seb and shahla and drove out to the ihop in o’fallon. mmm biscuits and gravy. dinner, plus the fact that we watched amelie a little later put me in a better mood, at least.

so, i made it through the entire day of sunday without wearing a belt.

impressive? yes
exciting? no

but hey, i just thought you’d like to know how amazing my hips are.

in other news, i do not believe that the st. louis county police are going to do anything about my car and cds. damn them. i did find a replacement window and someone to install it, so i should have a fully operational (albeit incredibly dirty) car again on monday or tuesday. that’s so so exciting.

i really don’t have anything to write, i’m just really really bored.

and now, your moment of zen (please, don’t ask questions):
sam: do you like to…chew on the digicam strap?

where to start, where to start…

yesterday (well, friday) had all the makings of one of those great summer days. i got to laze around at work all day, mostly talking to sam and seb online, and i actually had plans for the evening by quitting time. plans being to meet everyone at courtney’s house, drive out to the wonderful muny in forest park, watch how to succeed in business without really trying, and then some of us would proceed to drive out to tony’s townhouse in columbia to see his chinchilla and do whatever else.

i ended up being one of the drivers to the muny, since seven people generally do not fit in one car. tony was the only person brave enough to hop in the orgazmobile (my ’86 bmw 3-series, of course), so we made our way to forest park, quite speedily, and found a nice parking spot on a street decently far away from where all the traffic would be concentrated after the show. we also found seven seats right in the middle and managed to save them, with the help of tony’s umbrella. everyone else showed up, the musical was fantastic, we made plans to meet back at the steak ‘n shake in st. charles, yada yada yada…

thanks to the inborn sense of direction that the brotherhood of man provided to both me and tony, we found my car rather quickly. i ran ahead to unlock the doors in an attempt to beat as much traffic as possible, but instead of getting in the car, tony simply said “uhh, tommy…” he said that because of this:

during the show, some [insert your own string of expletives, i've used them all already] jerk(s) punched out my right rear passenger window. why? well, to steal my cds, of course. unfortunately, when i was at home changing clothes between work and going out, i decided to grab a couple of cd cases and throw them in the backseat just in case i ended up driving. therefore, some asshole now possesses about 130 of my favorite cds. unless he or she has already sold them to a used record store.

(actually, tony and i theorized about every aspect of the robbery – the motive, the actual carrying out of the crime, why nothing else (me especially wondering about the car itself) was taken – while we were cruising down highways 170 and 70 at a much slower rate of speed than i was used to. we could not confirm anything, of course)

i called the police, who promised to call my cell phone within three hours to take a report (a really strange way of doing it, if you ask me, but…) and told me not to wait around in forest park (also weird). so tony and i started sweeping out some of the shards of glass in the backseat when i made a great discovery:

maybe you cannot tell, what with the crappiness of that picture, but those splotches are blood that is not mine. someone else’s blood was in my car – what wonderful evidence!

it was damn near impossible, but i was able to convince my parents to still allow me to go out to columbia, even though we weren’t going to be leaving until much later than originally planned. it just ended up being me, tony, and seb, which was kind of a sad turnout… anyhow, we got there, poked the chinchilla a few times, and watched the complete works of william shakespeare abridged and passed out soon thereafter.

at nine o’clock this morning, my cell phone woke me up. i’m still not sure how, i fell asleep at something around five. but yeah, it was the st. louis police, calling me seven hours late. the lady took my report, but she didn’t make it sound like anything would come of it. i was a little disappointed. i mean, the police are really my only hope for anything here; i only have liability insurance.

and yeah, that’s the newest car story i have. i hate people.