i can't find the words

We know that most of you spent the weekend curled up in your beds, nursing your shattered school pride, in addition to the usual hangover. You were upset and crying because Lafayette College won — those jerks came out and played a better game and they shocked our beloved Mountain Hawks.

In a sick, masochistic way, it’s sort of nice. With our football team shaming the Leopards so many times in the past decade, it seemed like the rivalry was losing its luster. But the Mountain Hawks were humbled, something they’ll be sure to remember during next year’s whomping of Lafayette at Goodman Stadium.

So what exactly went wrong? It seemed like Lehigh was returning to its glory days as a Division I-AA powerhouse (days as recent as an undefeated regular season in 2001); how was an ostensible speed bump like Lafayette able to throw our playoff hopes — which were very nearly set in stone — into a panic?

Well, we’ve come up with a few ideas, and hope you’ll indulge us.

The game was played at Lafayette’s Fisher Field. Although it’s most noticeable in college basketball, home-field advantage is a factor in football games. In fact, the home team has won the past four games in the Lehigh-Lafayette matchup. With the fans so passionate about this rivalry, having the home crowd obviously provides some kind of benefit.

After almost every week this season, Head Coach Pete Lembo had something to complain about in the postgame press conference. even if the Hawks had won by 30 points, Lembo saw something he didn’t like with the offense. Even if they had held the other team to field goals, Lembo had qualms with the defense. He was always justified, of course; Lehigh did have a tendency to play sloppily and get away with it.

Combine these miscues on the field with a penchant for not being able to win the big games, and then you’ve got a problem. Not to say that the Hawks choke all the time, but sometimes games turn into nailbiters when they shouldn’t. We scored the first touchdown, maybe got a little overconfident and things went downhill from there.

It could also be the new Lafayette uniforms — we’re pretty sure Adam Bergen was blinded by those ugly black duds. And come one, Lafayette, black doesn’t even look good on you.

Lehigh certainly did not lose because Lafayette is a superior team, however. That could only happen in some parallel universe where up is down and vomit is chocolate.

We’d like to commend those of you who were at the game Saturday, you valiant souls who braved weather that was dreary and Lafayette fans who were hurling insults. Without you, the team would have nothing to play for but themselves.

However, those of you who went to Easton to tailgate and then left before kickoff, claiming the rain was too much to handle — you suck. You didn’t deserve to go if your sole reason was to get drunk.

But you still have an opportunity to redeem yourself. Lehigh squeaked into the playoffs (huzzah!), by some small miracle, and will be playing James Madison University on Nov. 27 at Goodman Stadium. We know you’ll still be on break, but you have to go anyway.

Plus, there’s a chance — slim, but still a chance — that we’ll play Lafayette again this year. If both teams make it to the tournament semifinal, they’ll play each other. While this probably isn’t going to happen, let’s hope that it does. That way, we can ruin the Leopards’ first postseason appearance and call them all sorts of dirty words.

I’m forgoing my mother’s wonderful cooking and spending my Thanksgiving Break at Lehigh this year.

This was the sort of thing I thought I could do freshman year. Fresh out of Missouri, I didn’t think it would be incredibly hard to spend four months at school before going home, so I told my parents I’d be having my holiday dinner at a friend’s house in New York City.

In the end, though, I caved in and emptied my savings account to buy a plane ticket home. I tried to save face by telling my parents I wanted to surprise them (I showed up on the doorstep and had to ring the bell because I had forgotten my key), but they probably knew I was homesick.

Sophomore year, I didn’t even pretend I could last a full semester away from home and had my dad buy the tickets. Once again, I feasted on turkey, mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole, and spent plenty of time hanging out with my friends.

But things changed last year.

My parents asked me to come home again, yes, but I just didn’t feel like putting forth the effort. So, instead of eating dinner with my family and feeding the leftover meat to the dogs, a friend and I walked around Bethlehem, trying to find restaurant that was open.

We settled on Perkins, which was actually the only place we could find. They had a special Thanksgiving meal, but, having stopped eating meat since that January, I had a cheese quesadilla.

It was interesting to watch the people who did come in for their turkey dinners. Most of them were alone, but a few families were apparently too lazy to cook and dragged everyone, crying babies included, out for a five-star meal.

The waiters didn’t want to be there, despite their holiday pay, and there were only a couple of them working. (I think they were doing their own dishes, too). As a result, I felt really bad and tipped something outrageous.

It was certainly a depressing meal, watching those sad people and their apparently inconsequential lives. And then I had to walk home in the cold weather, instead of the usual trek from the kitchen table to the family room for some quality TV time.

Yet, I’m doing it again.

Even with last year’s gloominess, I’m passing up an opportunity to spend a week away from Lehigh, and here’s why:

After spending a summer at school, and then realizing that I hate the campus when classes are in session, I’m actually excited to be in town when everyone else is gone.

For one, I’ll be able to park on my street. This is a rarity these days, but, with the Range Rovers and Audis gone, I should be able to leave my car somewhere within walking distance of my house.

The five-day weekend is nice, too. If I went home, I’d spend the better parts of two days traveling, and a good portion of that time waiting for a connecting flight at Chicago’s O’Hare International. This, coupled with packing, adds too much stress to what should be a relaxing time.

So I can spend the weekend crossing things off on my to-do list. I won’t even have to work much, with Jazzman’s Café closed for a few days, so my free time will go through the roof.

Plus, I can park my car on my street and avoid the $35 tickets that have been piling up. As you can tell, I’m way too excited about that.

But I’ll be able to catch up on my homework for once. I haven’t opened a textbook since September, and my homework is similarily ignored. (Strangely enough, my grades haven’t suffered much.)

I can write the dreaded personal statements for my law school applications, which might be a good idea if I plan on going to law school next fall.

I’ll read all day, starting with a cover-to-cover session with The New York Times. I’ll do the crossword puzzle next, and then go to Borders and spend the afternoon reading whatever magazines I get my hands on. And then I’ll probably buy books so I can read myself to sleep.

Cleaning my room might be another good thing to come out of the weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised to find the vacuum cleaner buried under the growing piles of books and papers.

With Lehigh all but abandoned, I can frolic about the campus whenever I want to. This means jumping into leaf piles and, possibly, trespassing.

Also, no freshmen.

Most importantly, I’ll be able to sleep until noon every day. I already do that, of course, but only because I stay up too late. This break will give me a chance to sleep twelve hours a day, and that’s something to be thankful for.

For a lack of anything better to do, I am going to attack the letter to the editor directly to my left. It’s certainly a weighter issue than, say, Thefacebook.

So, Alan Borowsky, you seem to think that student-athletes (henceforth “athletes” to save on hyphens) should be allowed to register with seniors so they can get into classes that mesh with their practice schedules. That’s a noble cause, but I can’t say that I agree with you, because then I’d be lying.

On the surface, your initial argument looks OK: Athletes have demanding schedules, and conflicts arise when classes start filling up. This is believable.

Had you left it at that, your letter would not be nearly so incendiary. But no, you took that extra step and continued to explain your pathetically weak reasoning.

Carl Moses said plenty when he told you that the old registration policy gave athletes an “excessive and unnecessary” amount of time. Does a freshman athlete deserve priority over a junior who might actually need to get into a particular science lab? Probably not. The new system still allows athletes to have an advantage over their peers, just not upperclassmen who have earned the privilege of registering earlier.

Also, the vast majority of classes offered at Lehigh end before 4 p.m, which is when practices tend to begin. I doubt this is coincidental. If you really do have difficulties with your practice schedule, I suggest you talk to Joe Sterrett, our magnanimous dean of athletics.

All in all, I’d say the claims of preferential treatment were justified.

You go on to argue that athletes make a commitment that other students don’t — or can’t — make.

We’ll start with the first half of this statement. As a member of several campus groups (I looked you up on Thefacebook, which I suppose is sort of useful), you know there are things to do that are not sports. Some of us even have — heaven forbid! — jobs so we can buy things such as clothes, dinners and car repairs. So why penalize those of us whose schedules are just as demanding as your undoubtedly strenuous golf regiment? By your logic, students with busier weeks than yours should get to register in October.

As for your claim that nonathletes lack the talent to play Division I sports, that might be true; I’m sure not everyone can be Mark Borda or Jen Schappert just by throwing a football or running really fast. But we nonathletes can make commitments in ways athletes may not be able to. Let’s see you make a Web site, edit a newspaper and then top it off by making a cappuccino, and then we can talk about talent.

Furthermore, you have the nerve to whine, to the point where I hope you’re being sarcastic, about deserving appreciation for what you do on the field. Maybe being the quarterback (or, in your case, I guess, the sand-wedge specialist) could get you into the head cheerleader’s pants in high school, but this is not high school. Being an athlete does not put you on a level above everyone else, so don’t expect us to lavish you with our thanks.

Those students who are grateful for the recognition you apparently bring to Lehigh can appreciate your efforts by watching you play — that’s what being a fan is all about; nowhere does it say we have to give up our places in line so you can have the 11 a.m. recitation instead of the 8 a.m. And, in some cases (wrestling and basketball, namely), the university shows its appreciation in the form of scholarships. I realize this isn’t the case for the golf team, but perhaps that speaks of golf’s importance at Lehigh.

So, Alan, instead of stereotyping nonathletes as lazy bums, consider that we also have commitments and busy schedules (and Gamecubes), and that your half-hour is more than enough. I’ll leave you with some wisdom:

If you really, truly need to get into a class, and if it’s a matter of life and death, then go talk to the professor or the department; they’ll probably hold a spot for you. However, if you only see early registration as a school-sponsored means of avoiding 7:55 a.m. classes, then please shut up.

It’s that time of year again: Seniors have to start thinking about what they’re going to be doing come next fall.

This year is especially scary, of course, since I am one of those seniors and I am absolutely indecisive about what to do. I remember applying to colleges four years ago, and I applied to a lot of them, but that was so much easier — I knew I was going to college; I just had to pick one.

This time, however, I have to choose a career path. I can go to graduate school for journalism, but I should really save that for when I know what I want to do with my life. I can get a job editing or writing somewhere, but I could make just as much money working full-time at Jazzman’s (which is a sad, sad thought). I can go to law school — and a good one — but I don’t think taking the LSAT on a whim and doing well is a strong argument for a law degree. And I can stick around here and do nothing for another year, but that’s the slacker’s way out. So I don’t know.

I visited campuses last time around. I went to New Orleans and visited Tulane University, as well as the French Quarter; I made a weekend trip across the state of Pennsylvania; I must’ve gone to half a dozen schools.

This time, however, I’m doing all my research from the confines of my room. I consult the U.S. News & World Report rankings and look at the pretty pictures on the schools’ Web sites, but I don’t know the first thing about many of these places. I just know that they all are picturesque, have incredibly diverse student populations and offer a plethora of opportunities. Can I afford to live in Lexington, Va.? I don’t know. How safe is Boston? No idea. But my, oh my, is that grass ever green. There just aren’t enough hours to find out the things I need to know.

When I finally had to pick a college, I couldn’t. It was either here or Washington and Lee University, but I didn’t have a preference. It got to the point where I had to flip a coin just so I could pick a school before the acceptance deadline passed. Heads it was, so I came to Lehigh.

This time, however, I really shouldn’t flip a coin, or roll a 12-sided die. I need to pick a school, a job, a whatever, and I need to have good, logical reasons for it. I can’t make my decision based on being close to home, or a girl, or anything else frivolous, because then it’ll become one of those decisions I regret once things go awry.

Last-minute visits to Lehigh (who flew me, an accepted IBE student, to stay for a weekend) and Washington and Lee (I was in the area) certainly swayed my opinion the last time I was faced with such an important decision.

I won’t have such luxuries this time, at least. I’ll probably make a spreadsheet and compare everything I can think of and then make a giant pro-con list. That way, when I still can’t decide, I will be able to show that I gave the decision some thought.

I don’t know what I want. There’s always journalism, in both its real-world and college-world incarnations, and then there’s law school, which seems like a good idea about half the time. So far, I’ve taken the always-safe choice of not thinking about them, but I’ll have to, eventually. I just have to figure out what suits me.

I will say this, though:

Early Sunday morning, I was walking from one end of campus to the other. It was late Saturday night, really, either 5 a.m. or 4 a.m., depending on how you want to look at it, and I was on my way home. The campus was all but empty, for which I was thankful. Since I’ve been at Lehigh, I haven’t been able to stomach its homogeneity, something I didn’t realize when I visited. But on this night, Halloween Eve, a heavy fog wrapped itself about the campus and I could hardly see the few drunk students still staggering around. In this haze on this unseasonably warm night, I secretly relished what I could see — buildings, mostly — and realized it’s possible to like this place, despite all its shortcomings.

So I guess the moral is that I can find something I like about whatever I decide, so long as I look for it. And that’s reassuring.