i can't find the words

I had the privilege of attending the Linderman Library renovations launch Thursday, and it was one of the least pleasant celebrations I’ve been to. The soon-to-be Linderman café and I have a history, and I had to indulge my curiosity. Choosing to lean on a pickup truck safely away from the mob of rabid café supporters, I watched the festivities with a smirk on my face.

The ceremony was nothing extraordinary. There were balloons and silly hard hats. Important people spoke. Less important people spoke. President Gregory Farrington unveiled a rather small banner. There was a confetti explosion.

The reception that followed was even more ridiculous. The Frappuccinos were there, as promised. Also available were biscotti, chocolate-covered strawberries and black-and-white cookies. Everyone hobnobbed with the administrative folks while, inexplicably, three orchestra members played in the rotunda.

I felt awful for any student who happened to be using his or her precious afternoon to study or work at Linderman. They were unable to use the library’s front doors for more than half an hour and seemed to have been shepherded away from the lobby and rotunda. Worst of all, they had to deal with hubbub that really had no purpose being at the library.

Hubbub is exactly what the café will create.

Everyone already knows this, of course — some of the speakers at the ceremony remarked that the renovated library would make the library the campus’s social hub.

Now, I was certain we already had one of those: Fairchild-Martindale Library. Linderman has always been the place to go if you actually need to get work done; Fair-Mart is where you go if you want to stand outside and smoke.

I have other reservations about the café, as well. None of us has seen the new Sodexho contract (nor will we; it’s a secret), but I’d be stupid to hope that it allows any on-campus eatery to have autonomy. During two and a half years at Jazzman’s Café, I watched as Sodexho’s tentacles worked their way into the everyday operations of the store.

Maybe you’ve seen the results — Jazzman’s’ hours are now, like the Sodexho contract, a secret. There may as well be a sign on the door that says, “Maybe we’ll be open until 9 p.m., or maybe we’ll close at noon. Cross your fingers.” The problem is that the Sodexho Retail Brand Group is unrealistically confident about its “brand names” — Jazzman’s, Pandinis and Salsa Rico, among others — and it leads to poor business decisions.

A Sodexho-controlled café in Linderman might seem like a good theory, but once it begins to lose money (and it will — Jazzman’s has never been close to making a profit) the hours will be cut. What good is the café going to be when it closes before you start studying?

Alas, it’s too late to do anything about it. Regardless of whether the senior class supports it, the café was going to be built. The class officers hopped on the bandwagon and, as of Sunday, have convinced 476 seniors (approximately 48 percent of the class) to pledge $5 toward the café.

I can’t say I blame the seniors who have given. They’ve enjoyed several free ice creams and T-shirts and have been entered in several drawings for a mere $5. And they haven’t had to deal with the class officers pestering them at senior nights or while buying their caps and gowns at the bookstore. Five dollars is a paltry amount of money for these things.

It should be noted that these small donations only amount to $2,380 of the eventual goal of $150,000 — the bulk of the class gift fund is comprised of postgraduation donations. The class officers have not actually raised much money at all. And while it is too late to prevent the café from being forever associated with the class of 2005, it is not too late to beat the class officers at their donation game.

This is why I’m proposing an alternate senior class gift. The idea of a class gift is that it should unite the class and provide some benefit to the school, and it seems like the simplest, and best, way to do that is with a scholarship fund. Instead of feeding the Sodexho monster, you can help a student who might otherwise not be able to attend Lehigh.

I realize the semester is almost over and that raising the $50,000 necessary for an endowed scholarship fund seems pretty much impossible. However, 52 percent of you seniors either oppose the café or don’t care enough to donate, and the remainder of you might value a scholarship fund in addition to a lousy café. Raising more than $2,500 would be enough to show the senior class officers that they made a poor choice.

So, donate. You can reach me at tom.steele@lehigh.edu if you have any questions or would like to contribute.

Sometimes I can tell if I really like something that has happened because of the way I walk afterward. I develop a disinterested strut.

That, and I am overcome with the urge to crash my car into things.