Having lived in Actionville a whopping three-plus weeks, I’ve maybe learned a thing or two. After all, Florida is one of those special places that gets its own tag on fark.com, so there are are a lot of things to know. Here are just a few:
Dear The New York Times:
I really like croissants.
Thanks,
Tom
OK, so, I saw this thing on LiveJournal where you were supposed to put iTunes on shuffle and use the song titles to answer these questions. But of course that made no sense, so I figured I’d only use song titles that were also proper answers. It took ALL DAY! If you see the president of the Internet, you can tell him I quit.
Q: What do you think of me, iTunes?
A: “Smashing Young Man” – Collective Soul
Q: Will I have a happy life?
A: “True Love Will Find You in the End” – Beck
Q: What do my friends really think of me?
A: “Tired of You” – Foo Fighters
Q: Do people secretly lust after me?
A: “Just a Touch” – R.E.M.
Q: What should I do with my life?
A: “Rockstar” – Jimmy Eat World
Q: Why must life be so full of pain?
A: “Beautiful View” – Luna
Q: How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
A: “Move On” – Mike Doughty
Q: Will I die happy?
A: “I Bleed” – Pixies
Q: Can you give me some advice?
A: “They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!” – Sufjan Stevens
Q: What do you think happiness is?
A: “A Movie Script Ending” – Death Cab for Cutie
Q: What’s my favorite fetish?
A: “Forklift” – Pavement
